Dating Tips for Shy Men - How to Get a Woman's Attention Without Having to Say a Word

You are shy around women, you don't need anyone to remind you of that, you know it all too well. You know that it gets in the way of being able to meet women. You know that having a shy side inhibits you from being one of those guys who drop pick up lines in bars or approaches women on the street. You know that when you are in a crowd with other men, you are not likely to be the one who stands out. What if you could and you didn't even have to say a single word to get attention from a woman? 

Unbelievable? 

 I thought so too. 

What I didn't realize and maybe you haven't realized it yet, is that verbal communication is only a small part of what actually attracts a woman's attention. Some say that it is as low as 7 percent. It's funny isn't it, that 7 percent, a tiny little number is what keeps you from being able to have the success with women that you deserve and yearn for. 

It doesn't have to anymore. 

I did a little test a few years back, just to see if it was really TRUE, that you could actually attract a woman's attention without having to say a single word. Much to my surprise - it worked the first time out! I was kind of shocked to say the least. 

Standing in just the right spot in this trendy little bar, where lots of good looking and affluent men and women go on a Friday evening, I put it to the test. I made a pact with myself to stay silent, and to see if I could really attract a woman's attention. Just so you know, I'm rather picky when it comes to women. 

Some call it superficial when you prefer really sexy, beautiful women. I prefer to call it being picky. Hope you don't mind. 

  I spotted her. She was gorgeous. Brunette, long hair, and those eyes. Beautiful blue eyes that I could see from about 30 feet away. Five foot six, maybe seven, couldn't have been more than 125 pounds... curvy where it counts.

I made eye contact and smiled, she did the same. I made sure that my body language was just right, and I briefly looked away, as if something caught my eye in the other direction.

When I looked back towards her, our eyes met again. Again, a little smile and this time - I made a slight adjustment to my body language and noticed, she kind of matched it. I rolled my eyes just a tad, to show a little playfulness.

Then I spotted a table that was free and sat down. A little exchange that seemed kind of fun, I didn't think anything more would come of it, so I gazed out the window for a moment, getting kind of lost in my thoughts.

That's when I heard it.
Her voice.
"Is it alright if I sit down with you?"
Yep. It worked. I didn't have to say a single syllable, she had come over and asked to join me.
Funny thing is, I've done the same thing over and over again since that night and most of the time, it works like a charm.
So, yeah, you CAN attract a woman's attention without having to say a single word.
That's good news if you are shy around women.

Here is a little recap of what I did and how you can attract a woman's attention without having to say a single word:
1. Playful and friendly eye contact.
2. Alpha male body language.
3. A simple shift in your body language that acts almost like a lure.
Pretty simple, right?

The beautiful thing of it is, you don't have to worry about having to "compete" with other men. You don't have to worry about having a killer pick up line. If you understand that most of the attraction happens on a non-verbal level, you are light years ahead of most men out there. And you WILL be able to attract attention from a woman, even if you are normally shy around them.

Do you want to know how to talk to a woman in a bar or any other situation?  Get Your Free Guide now

Nine Female Archetypes in the Dating World

- The Balanced Companion

General description: Same general traits as the male archetype that falls in this category.

- The Alpha Female / Dominator

General description: Same general traits as the male archetype that falls in this category. Sometimes, these women are referred to as "bitches."

- The Masochist / Doormat

General description: This is a woman who loves to be mistreated and disrespected (the notion of this might sound crazy to some, but there are some women who literally get off on that). Usually, this woman suffers from very low self-esteem and/or was emotionally/physically/sexually abused as a child. 

- The Trophy 

 

General description: Trophy women go well with Sugar Daddy types. Their physical beauty and classy demeanor is their most highly valued and desired asset, so consequently, they offer their romantic companionship to the highest bidder.

- The Wholesome Pretender

General description: This term is actually an "Alan Roger Currie original," similar to my frequently used nickname for sexual intercourse, "exchanging orgasms." A Wholesome Pretender is a woman who loves to play the role of the "innocent, wholesome good girl" around her more conservative, prudish friends and acquaintances, but when she is in the company of more erotically uninhibited folk, her true kinky and freaky side will ultimately be unleashed.

- The Erotic Hypocrite / Status Chaser

General description: This term, just like Wholesome Pretender, is found in Mode One book; This woman is similar to a Wholesome Pretender, but much more status-oriented and materialistic. This is a woman who essentially has the mindset of a high-priced Call Girl or Erotic Escort, but she doesn't want either of those labels officially attached to her name.

- The Super Freak / Nymphomaniac

General description: There are some women who are extremely horny and extremely sexually adventurous and promiscuous, and they don't even attempt to hide it. This is what the late R&B singer, Rick James, labeled a "Super Freak." She wants to do it anytime, anywhere, and in any sort of [unconventional] scenario. This woman will never be able to maintain a monogamous relationship.

- The Recluse

General description: This is a woman, similar to the male "timid / wallflower," who has essentially taken herself out of the dating scene either because of bitterness towards the male gender or a total lack of confidence in her looks and/or her ability to hold a man's interest. Many times, these women turn to junk food as their "fix" ... or cats.

- The Attention Whore

General description: This is a woman, similar to a male "weasel / FunClubber," who will give men the misleading impression that "one day" they might just gain the opportunity to date them or have sex with them, but in reality, they just want to maintain a stable of "platonic boyfriends" who are at their beck and call to perform favors for them or just be a listening ear to their frustrations caused by other men.

Some men and women start off in one category and remain in that same category for most of their adult life. Other men and women sort of float from one category to another, depending on their age, level of maturity, and the type of members of the opposite sex they are meeting.

For example, I've probably fallen into at least six or seven of the nine male archetypes at different points in my life. The only categories I've never really operated in is "The Sugar Daddy" (never really had the means to do so) and "The Timid / Wallflower" (with the possible exception of maybe middle school or early high school). I've rarely been the "Dog / Lying Womanizer" either, with the exception of maybe a brief stretch in high school and/or college.

I know some men and women will say, "Well, none of those properly categorize me!!" Yeah, right. Don't fool yourself. These archetypes are tried and true. I didn't just make these up overnight. I've rarely, if ever, met a man or woman who did not fall into at least ONE of these nine archetype categories.

Is "The Balanced Companion" the category that is most ideal? Not necessarily. For some men, being "The Dominator" or even "The Sugar Daddy" works for them. Same with women. I know many women who enjoy being "The Trophy" or "The Attention Whore."

Nine Male Archetypes in the Dating World

- The Balanced Companion

General description: The "balanced companion" is neither extremely dominant or weak and passive. They know when to take charge, and when to go with the flow. This person is rarely known for drastic emotional mood swings. They operate on an even keel the vast majority of the time. Good character, good integrity and an objective viewpoint characterize this person.

- The Alpha Male / Dominator

General description: This is the man that loves to be in total control of a relationship, and expects each woman he interacts with to adhere to his program. If this man is matched up with a very submissive woman, he won't have too many problems. Sometimes these men are referred to as "jerks" and "assholes" by women who are frustrated by their dominant tendencies.

- The Henpecked Companion

General description: This man is almost just the opposite of The Dominator. This man will allow his female companions to run all over him. No backbone or real decision-making ability at all, primarily because this man does not like to deal with disagreements, arguments, debates and/or confrontations. This man is usually with a female companion that he feels he doesn't really deserve to be with.

- The Sugar Daddy

General description: This is a man who doesn't really have any true charm, looks, confidence or personality, so he compensates for his shortcomings and insecurities by offering women financial favors, employment opportunities, materialistic gifts, etc. I refer to these men in my book, Mode One, as "Mode Three Targets."

- The Player and/or Pimp

General description: The Player is a womanizer who is very upfront and straightforward with women about the fact that he desires to have two or more sexual companions. This man does not like to engage in manipulative head games or experience dating-related "drama." The highest level Players will ultimately come to be known as "pimps," meaning that he can influence his women to have sex with other men, usually for profit.

- The Serial Monogamist

General description: The Serial Monogamist is almost similar to a Player, but he doesn't like to juggle two or more women at once. This man would rather interact with just one woman romantically and/or sexually for six weeks to six months, and then move on to the next short-term monogamous relationship.

- The Dog / Lying Womanizer

General description: The Lying Womanizer (or "Dog," "Cheater") is a man who wants very badly to be known as a true "Player," but lacks the confidence to be upfront and straightforward about his intentions for multiple sex partners; Instead, this man is highly deceitful and misleads many women into believing that they are the only "special woman" in his life.

- The Timid or Wallflower

General description: Some critics would label this man "the loser"; I don't think any man is truly a "loser," but rather, they just haven't full developed a strong sense of self-confidence and self-esteem yet. This man is not even really engaged in the dating scene. This man is more or less like a "spectator" who attends social events just to admire women's beauty without ever making any real attempt to approach them.

- The Weasel / FunClubber

General description: This is the man who typically will "pretend" to be a woman's "platonic friend," but deep-down, he wants to date that woman or have casual sex with her. I refer to this type of behavior as "FunClubbing" (i.e., instead of being in a woman's "fan club," you are in her "hang around with her just for fun" club)

The One Thing You MUST Have in Your Online Dating Photo

There’s been an ongoing debate over what makes a dating profile photo effective. Is it, like some people say, having the right clothes? Or is it, like others say, being surrounded by gorgeous women to show you’re popular? Or is it about the interesting event where the photo takes place? 

The answer is actually none of the above.

Don’t get me wrong. Wearing stylish clothes is important. And being surrounded by female (and male) friends is a nice touch. But ultimately, they aren’t critical.

I’ve talked with dozens of women on the subject, and I’ve tried out many different photos myself. The answer I found seemed strange… but then I realized that it was pretty obvious all along.

The answer lies in the fundamental way that a woman looks at man. I believe, and evidence shows, that men judge women very differently than women judge men.

Men look at a woman’s photo and look mostly at a woman’s features: her face, her hair, her skin, her breasts, etc. If she registers as good looking on a purely physical, superficial level, most men find her attractive.

Men think this way and assume women do also. But they don’t. In fact, the most handsome, physically good looking guy can do WORSE online than a very average looking guy. It happens all the time. I know because I’ve been there.

A few years ago, I didn’t put much effort into being photogenic, and the result was that I usually looked like I didn’t want to be in the picture. After fixing this one area, I noticed my response rate in online dating sites actually went up. And I didn’t change my clothing style or get plastic surgery.

So what makes a good dating profile photo?

Part of it is the expression you have on your face. The face conveys the inner feeling you have about yourself and your surroundings. Whether you appear happy and confident – or bored and disinterested – will make ALL the difference in how your picture is looked at. It’s common sense, but it’s crucial.

Woman can tell a lot about who a guy is and what he’s about by his facial expression. Daniel Goleman, author of the highly acclaimed Emotional Intelligence, states that women are better at reading faces than men. Women are evolutionarily wired to be sensitive to facial expressions. This is probably due to the high level of trust a woman needs to place in a man before deciding to mate with him.

So how do you go about getting a good facial expression for your dating photos? Like most things, practice, practice, practice. For powerful, easy photo tricks that work INSTANTLY, check out this book, The Online Dating Bible. It gives you secret shortcuts, so even if you don’t have access to great photos, you can get them for free.  

Best Online Dating Site Review

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The newest and hottest way to pickup girls recently has been through the internet. With an insane growth in websites like Facebook and MySpace... and not to mention online dating websites... the internet has officially become the #1 playground where singles meet.

But let's face it... for guys... it's definitely NOT easy.

Women have all the power when it comes to online pickup. Luckily for you, we've recently reviewed some of the top online attraction program available on the internet... and luckily for you, we've found the best one.

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And his product just isn't another e-book - it's a full package designed to help your game substantially. So does it work?

Derek Lamont has layout out, step-by-step, exactly what you need to do to successfully pickup beautiful girls online. And that's not it... he's completed his package with audio and added a plethora of additional bonuses that will surely help ANY guy. 

But how does it step up to the competition? We've reviewed dozens and dozens of other online attraction programs - and to be honest, we've been disappointed with almost all of them... until we've discovered Derek Lamont's Online Game.

Other programs were simply not as effective - and we've thoroughly tested ALL of them. After just messaging three girls using Derek Lamont's techniques, we had successfully setup a date with a gorgeous blonde... and within minutes!

His stuff truly works the best.

So if you want to turn your computer into a seduction machine and seriously make that Facebook account useful, then seriously look into his program. 

You'll find everything you need to know on his website..... - go check it out right now! He's got a few tidbits on how to get started quickly and easily!

I give The Online Game: Internet Attraction System a 9.9/10!

What are your ratings?

 

Why Online Dating?

When I talk to guys about online dating, I sometimes hear: “I don’t think online dating is for me.” I’m getting it less and less now however. Something tells me it’s getting more popular.

 

And statistics show it is getting more popular. Here are some reasons why:

If you are a guy, chances are you want to date as many women as possible. Either you just want to enjoy the fun of meeting many girls, or you want to get experience with all types of women so when you’re ready to settle down, it’s with the right one – not just the available one.

And, if you’re like most guys, meeting women in bars and clubs is tough. Going from the opening pick-up line, to the phone number, to the date, is not something most guys can accomplish on a regular basis. I know because I’ve been there. And while I enjoy the challenge of approaching women in bars (and in coffee shops, malls, etc.), I’ve found that it’s nice to have a date lined up just in case.

Online dating gives you that opportunity. With a solid personal ad or online profile, the ability to have a date every weekend is entirely possible.

If you’re looking to get better with women – to learn how to attract and charm them, then online dating is a great way to do that efficiently.

Take this common scenario:

Billy is somewhat shy around women. He never really had luck with the opposite sex, and so he holds part of himself back when he is around women. When he sees a hot woman, he doesn’t know what to say to her.

Given his shyness, he almost never makes the first contact with an attractive woman. After years and years of this, and waiting for the woman to come and talk to him, he finally settles for a less attractive woman. Since he never got enough face time with women, he didn’t get the experience that would have taught him how to charm and attract the kind of girl he wants.

Now let’s see how Billy does on an online dating site. 

He uses the writing tips from DatePerDay and gets himself a charming profile that uses the key elements of attraction. He takes sound advice on how to use only the right photos of himself so he looks attractive enough for a hot woman to date. Then he lands a date with a hot women.

Chances are Billy is going to fail. This isn’t a Disney movie. Boy meets girl and fails is a common dating scenario. However, Billy knows that the more experience he gets with women, the better he will be in the long run. So, he again leverages his dating profile to meet another single woman.

This time, he is a little more confident, since he’s been in the same situation before. She laughs at some of his jokes. He still fails to get a second date, but he feels sure that next time will be successful.

After a few experiences like this, Billy gains the ability to approach women in bars and clubs. The reason? He has been exposed to different dating scenarios, and the fear of rejection no longer bothers him. Furthermore, his ability to hold a conversation is far better now than it was before, because he has been forced to hold long conversations in coffee shops and restaurants.

The story with Billy is a common one. I’ve seen guys go from shy, socially awkward guys to expressive, outgoing, confident men. But there is no substitute for experience. And online dating is the best avenue to get that experience in a short amount of time.

First Impressions

Billy has a leg up with online dating when it comes to first impressions. Since he is shy, chances are he won’t even get to make a first impression with a female in a bar… and even if he does, it probably won’t be a very good one. 

Online, Billy can make himself appear confident, socially savvy, and intriguing. If first impressions are as important as they say, then an online profile does most of the work for you.

It’s Inexpensive

Sometimes you hear people say that online dating is expensive. But it really isn’t. If you’re spending $200 a month on drinks at the bar, when all you really want to do is meet girls, then there are cheaper ways to do that. Most dating sites are available for around $20 per month. If you get 5 dates in a month, how much cheaper is that than getting one date with a girl you met at a bar? Do the math.

All the Women Are Available

When you go to a bar you may approach 5 women, if you’re especially ballsy. Out of those 5 women, 1 or 2 probably have boyfriends. Another one might have a friend who is dead set against you talking to her girl. That leaves 2 or 3 women out of 5 that are actually available to date. I don’t like those odds. 

Online, every girl is available. You’ll never approach a girl and get a ‘boyfriend rejection’. So do your homework. Read up on the subject. Make an online profile that will get you more dates, more experience, and more attractive women in your life today. 

Please leave your comments and feedback.

Profile DOs and DON’ts

While my dating profile(s) are far from perfect, there seems to be a general consensus on various forums of what not to do on dating profiles.  I feel I need to add my two cents.

Guys.  Come on.  WRITE SOMETHING.

Dos for guys:

• DO write more than two sentences.  

• DO use your spell checker 

• For the love of all things holy, don’t type your profile like you text.  Many women out there WILL judge you based on HOW you write.  Wrting lyk dis will turn alot of wemmen of, u kno? If u cnt write gud, plz ask sum1 4 help.  Kthx.

• Learn the difference between your and you’re; here and hear; there, their, and they’re.  Once you’ve mastered it, show off dose mad grammar skills. Mkay?

• DO show your teeth in your pictures.  In other words, SMILE, DAMMIT.

Don’ts for guys:

• DON’T have a dead critter in every last damn picture.  We know you want to be the provider/hunter/gatherer type, but holy shit.  One dead animal is enough.  Show us something else.

• DON’T show us one finger and one finger only in every picture.  We know you are proud of the middle finger of your right hand, but if you are flying the bird in every picture, we are likely to get the hint and do what the gesture suggests.

• SPEAKING of finger gestures, “the shocker” is another one that doesn’t impress us, mainly because a good number of us have an “exit only” invisible tattoo above our assholes.  Yeah, some women like two in the stink, or two in the poo, but not all of us.  You don’t really look mature when you’re doing that.

• DON’T flash us gang signs, fake or otherwise.  Really?  You’re 45.  Time to grow up, bubba.  Besides, you’re a little too country to pull that one off properly.

• DON’T be cliche.  A lot of us have kids, too, and WE UNDERSTAND that kids come first, they are your world, blah blah blah.  Sorry to be a bitch, but 19 out of 20 profiles proclaim your kids are your world.  WE GET IT.  Okay?  We don’t expect that you’re going to write “yeah, I’ve got a couple kids a couple times a month but they’re a bunch of little heathen assholes and I lock them in the closet while they’re here because I hate the little bastards.“  If you thought that, you wouldn’t have them a couple times a month, you’d leave them with their mother and not even mention you have them.  Frankly, I’d be a little worried if your kids weren’t the center of your world and you didn’t put them first.  So lets just pretend that we already know how devoted you are despite the divorce.

• DON’T write two lame sentences and end with “if you wanna know more, just ask” because we’re going to click the next button.

• DON’T whine about not getting responses or dates if you have two lame sentences and end with “if you wanna know more, just ask” because we’ve clicked the next button because you weren’t interesting enough to want to know more.  We know you’re a guy and there is a 99% chance you like sports and music.  WRITE SOMETHING already.

• DON’T write a single sentence when you write to us.  “Hey bootiful.  Wanna talk?” isn’t going to get us talking.  Tell us a little bit about you, especially if you have the dreaded “if you wanna know more, just ask” on  your profile.  Ask us questions.

• DON’T be self-depreciating on your profile.  We don’t want to fix you.  If you’re that broken, its time for therapy.

• DON’T get abusive if we don’t answer or don’t answer the way you want us to answer.  It will only reinforce why we don’t want to meet you.

• DON’T lie.  We will find out.  Are you 5’2″ with eyes of blue?  We know the difference between 5’2″ and 5’8″, especially if we are 5’4″.  We are also pretty good with ages, so don’t tell us you’re 15 years younger than you really are.  The truth will come out in the wash.  Inflating the income/job?  You better not show up in a Ford Pinto circa 1973 with more rust than a bucket of nails.  In fact, if you’re really making $250,000+ a year, you’re going to have a car and not have to meet somewhere close to a bus stop.

Ladies.  Oh wow. Where to start.  May be a list of strictly don’ts will help you out more than a list of dos.

• DON’T have all of your pictures taken from the “myspace angle” and showing your boobs unless you WANT a ton of comments about your boobs.  If you’re laying on the bed in lingerie, don’t piss and moan that they aren’t reading your profile and all they want is sex.  Want respect?  Show that you respect yourself.  Put some damn clothes on.

• DON’T complain that you are fat unless you’re willing to do something about it.  Like getting off the couch, putting down the bonbons, and taking a walk around the block.

• DON’T DUCK FACE.  EVER.  That’s the one where you push your lips out and bat your eyelashes at the selfie you’re taking.  Guys hate that shit because your mouth looks either like a duck (hence the name) or an anus.  You think making your face look like your butthole is sexy?  Knock that shit off.  You look stupid. 

•   DON’T be a gold digger.  Get a job.  No, he probably won’t let you move in after two weeks of chatting online, so stop expecting it.

• DON’T BE RUDE just because what messaged you isn’t what you’re looking for.  Either don’t respond at all (because, as I pointed out above, some can get downright hateful when rejected), or be polite when you say you aren’t a match.  If you want someone to treat you like a lady, you better damn well act like one.  Having tits does not preclude you from having manners.

• DON’T LIE.  Remember what I said to the men?  While they think they’re being coy with us, they can spot a liar and a fake a mile away, too.

• DON’T act helpless unless you truly are.  Most men like women who are strong and independent.

• DON’T act like a snowflake.  You won’t melt in the rain.  Dirt washes off.  Not many men like the vapid, brainless, twit routine.

Okay, so there is my list of what I see wrong on these dating sites. If you have any additions, feel free to add them in the comments section,  You know, for educational purposes.

Happy searching!