Secrets of Online Dating Success For Over 40s

Secrets of Online Dating Success For Over 40s

1. Your Screen name, Headline and Profile Need to Pop

 To differentiate yourself from all the other women out there, your screen name, headline and profile have to be real, upbeat and clever representations of who you are.   First, sign on to one of the larger online sites that has plenty of boomer aged-men like Match, eHarmony and PlentyOfFish.com as a male looking for a female and jot down ideas.  Ideally do this exercise with a male friend to help you see what guys are looking for.  Next, ask each of your two best friends to write up a one paragraph description of you, highlighting your unique and wonderful qualities.  Now you are ready to put together an optimal screen name and profile that is 100% you and stands out.
 Screen names like BubblyBrit; RioGirlinNYC; RareYetWellDone all pop.  They give guys a vivid picture of your personality. Try variations on these examples, or other positive and creative examples you can see by logging on to a major site as a guy looking for a woman. You can also appeal to men’s interests in a clever way. FootballSeasonistheBestTimeofYear; ILuvEntrepreneurs; or MatchPointMatch will catch the eye of a guy who shares your interests.  Similarly, you can create screennames that appeal to golfers, baseball enthusiasts, lawyers, doctors, sudoku-players or any other hobby or interest.
Screenname Don’ts:
Avoid defensive, kooky or negative monikers, like IHaveaKidIWillAlwaysLove; OrangePolkaDots; or LuckyLies. And please avoid anything to do with eye-color, being “sweet” or any of the other trite and boring names or headlines you see over and over.

2. The Perfect Headline and Profile  

For your Headline, write a sentence that showcases you and basically restates your love intention, but phrased in the third person.
Warm, witty, wonderful woman now looking for her special guy. 
Foxy, fun-loving redhead seeks her mate. 
Caring, kind Southern girl looking for a great partner.  
Avoid simply restating what you put in your screen name or indicating that you are fun and ready for a good time (that will only get you a crop of guys who are not interested in a relationship).
For the Profile, start by working from your friends’ write-ups.  Be honest and lead with your most inviting qualities. Are you funny?  A people person?  Do you have a quick mind?  Are you creative?  Write about it.  Then throw in some quirky, endearing or funny specifics.  For example you can say that you are a Sunday New York Times crossword puzzle person or love music from the 80’s. List your interests that men would be likely to share.  For example, you might mention hiking with the Sierra club, wine dinners or your favorite sports team.

Best-selling and Very Affordable Online Dating Guide For Women 

3. Less is More When It Comes to Describing Your Ideal Match

When you write about an ideal match, make it short and general. Less is more—you don’t want the man feeling like he can’t measure up to a long list of qualities.  Also, remember that you are going to be filling your Dating Program of Three dance card, which will include guys who at first are “not really your type.”  Something like the following works fine: Looking for a good-hearted, successful man who wants a committed relationship with his best friend and lover.  You want to cast a wide net to capture men who are interested and then do the picking and choosing. When you do start sorting through your responses, then you can choose men whose profiles indicate that they are in the correct age range, successful and looking for a long-term relationship and children, if you want them.

4. Work a Larger Site and a Boutique Site

      I recommend that you bcome a paid subscriber on two sites: one large one, such as Match, eHarmony, or PlentyOfFish.com, and one specialized site like JDate.com, Christianmingle.com or Blacksingles.com.  Browse through different sites, reading the profiles.  Go with your intuition in picking a site. According to independent sources, there are currently over thirty million unique visitors per month at U.S. dating sites.  And millions more per month in the U.K. and Europe.  So there are plenty of people from whom to select.

5. Master the Search Engine Secrets that Get More Results

A highly ranked profile can increase your visibility and generate more responses. When men run a search for women, and you meet the criteria, you will land at the top of their search results, ahead of other women, just by following some simple rules. On a number of sites, recently updated profiles are ranked higher.  You don’t have to do much to qualify. You can just tweak your info, changing your ideal first date or hobby frequently.  On some sites, you will come up as “New” all over again if you simply delete a sentence in your profile and then replace it.  Though these are easy ways to update your profile, it’s also a good idea to experiment with your photo, screen name and profile to see if making some changes pulls in better guys.

 Best-selling and Very Affordable Online Dating Guide For Women 

 

 

 

5 Secrets To Online Dating Success

                

5 Secrets To Online Dating Success 

You can meet the spectacular man who is going to be your life partner using online dating, or you can waste a ton of time and energy trying.

It may not happen for you overnight, but if you learn how to do it right and stick with it…like me you will find love online.

Here are five things to know if you want to make the best of online dating and find that special man to share the rest of your life.

1.   There is nothing to be afraid of. 

      No one can make you do anything you don’t want to  do. You can wink at guys you like, ignore winks you don’t like. You don’t have to email, talk to or meet anyone you don’t want to. (Though, in the spirit of being a grownup, I do recommend a polite rejection when a man makes an effort.) You can take your profile down if you need a break, and refresh it at any time…with a click of a button you are back in business. You can report the scammers and block the jerks. (They are easy to spot when you know the signs.) You can email the guys you like because, happily, in the online world, there is no need to wait for them to write first. Bottom line, you are in control, sister.

2.   Your profile counts big-time. 

       Your profile and photo is your marketing piece, not your wish list. This is especially true for women in their 40s, 50s and beyond whom, since the numbers are not in our favor (sorry gals), have to try just a little harder. The ultimate turn off for a guy is when he sees a laundry list of what he must be or must not be, or what he has to do in order to be worthy of you. When creating your profile, instead of emphasizing your wish list, let him know what life will feel and look like in a relationship with you. Paint  him a picture instead of listing a bunch of adjectives. Tell him what you want to share with him and how much fun you will have together. Be honest and don’t hesitate to show your personality. The right guy will love your profile and the rest will flee. Perfect.

3.   There is no such thing as online rejection.

       I’ve written about this before, but it bears repeating because it seems to be the #1 reason women give up before they meet The One. Rejection can seem unbearable, and it seems to be true that those of us over 40 tire of it much faster than the young ones.

Here’s the truth: There could be a million reasons a guy doesn’t respond to your wink, stops emailing after two or three passes or doesn’t call when he says he will. Maybe he only wants to date gals who ski, he’s having problems at work or the woman he met the day before happened to be someone he likes. You’ll never know, and none of it matters. It has nothing to do with you because he doesn’t even know you. So who cares? Just keep on keepin’ on.

4.   Start with the good stuff and you’ll meet more good men.

    There are millions of nice, interesting relationship-minded guys online, and they are looking for women like you. (Hey…I see proof of this every day.) Your success in finding The One starts with how you read and interpret profiles. Tamp down your inclination to find why he’s wrong by starting off looking for three things that are right. If the things you find are potentially your must-haves, unless he grosses you out, connect with him.


5.   Every communication counts.

     Let’s face it, women can fall in love with a profile.  Men, however, generally don’t connect until they meet you…hence the oh-so-common disappearing act during email and telephone foreplay.

    You can avoid this by making every email and phone conversation an opportunity to keep him interested. Remind him that you’re interested and you like him. Give him a reason to want to get to know you.
Intrigue him or delight him. Be positive and show him your personality. Yes…every time, with every communication. It’s not that hard and remember, this guy probably has an inbox that’s pretty full. Grabbing and keeping his attention is the way you’re going to turn your online connection into a real meeting.

                                      

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